[ A sigh. Alright. ]

I can't get a hold on it. I'll think I've got it under control and then I'll remember a face turning blue, John with half his leg missing, you, finding out I'm dead while you're stuck in a well and the first thing I felt being how glad I was that you were mourning for me—

[ There he goes. Back to a brink again, all spilling out the second he opens the door. He slams it shut, takes a deep breath. ]

I'm not safe. If I lose my mind, I don't know what I'll turn into. I need to do this.