[He goes still. He doesn't know why it surprises him, he doesn't grasp the magnitude of his shock, of his own, quiet shame rearing its ugly head again. He thinks, months ago, he might have been angry that Stephen told her. He thinks months ago he'd have pulled away by now and said: you had no right to tell anyone. He doesn't pull away, he isn't angry. The embarrassment is less about the fact that he and Stephen are men, and more than some, deep part of him still thinks to care.
He exhales after a long moment. ] Anyone back home might have said the same thing, to me. [Worse, even. Crueller. He might have said the same thing, once. ] So it'll be nothing I won't have heard before.
[He adds, after a beat: ] You know - some of us, or most of us, need time to adapt and relearn ... Old prejudices. A lot of time, sometimes. Maybe more than six months in a strange town, with stranger people.
I know. [ Quiet. He does. In theory, he does. Deeply conditioned beliefs take a long time to unpick, he knows that, he's not immune to it himself, but... ] It isn't the point that you've heard it before. The world isn't so changed that people don't still sling the same old shit around, it's all still out there.
[ He's heard it before too, though never aimed his way in anything other than petty thoughtlessness. He's not naive. He's complacent. That's what had really made him angry: understanding all of a sudden how little he'd bothered to understand when he'd still considered it largely none of his business.
But the other thing he'd felt, keen and blade-sharp, was - ]
The point is that you deserve better from her. She can take all the time she needs. You don't have to stand there holding her hand while she throws stones at you.
[ His gaze is, by now, fierce. He won't have Alicent fire shame-tipped arrows into this man from inside the house when he knows how hard he's had to work to purge as much of it from his system as he already has. Enough to stand here now, hand still in Stephen's, speaking candidly with him. ]
You know, [he begins, and feels genuinely a little moved and surprised, ] I get the impression you think I'm either much more delicate or patient than I actually am.
[Which is sweet, a little funny, maybe a little embarrassing. ] I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt until she's stopped earning it.
[Which, with Alicent, is ... It could be soon. It could be today, if chooses to stay angry. ]
[ A moment to take that in. To decide it's good enough for now. That he'll trust Jim to measure his own boundary lines even if he can't now trust Alicent not to cross them. But: ]
You stayed with me for years.
[ It's half wry. Half a joke. It isn't really a joke at all. Part of him will always think Jim Hopper has the patience of a particularly masochistic saint.
A squeeze of the hand still in his marks Stephen's readiness to disengage. ]
Sorry for bursting in. I'll let you get back to your day.
[ And then, actually, still not completely aware of what he'd done as he exited that particular conversation, sounding a little bemused that he's having this one - ]
He told me to eat shit and go fuck myself. [ Teenagers do that, no? Despite his fury in the moment, with hindsight the whole thing had been petty enough. ] What did he come tattling to you for?
With my deepest sympathies, Jim, if it's my existence he finds upsetting, look forward to more migraines.
[ But no. The kid caught him on the back of a extremely bad mood, with their previous conversation having taken place during a month where Stephen wasn't exactly himself. He should've been an adult about it, and he wasn't. So. ]
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He exhales after a long moment. ] Anyone back home might have said the same thing, to me. [Worse, even. Crueller. He might have said the same thing, once. ] So it'll be nothing I won't have heard before.
[He adds, after a beat: ] You know - some of us, or most of us, need time to adapt and relearn ... Old prejudices. A lot of time, sometimes. Maybe more than six months in a strange town, with stranger people.
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[ He's heard it before too, though never aimed his way in anything other than petty thoughtlessness. He's not naive. He's complacent. That's what had really made him angry: understanding all of a sudden how little he'd bothered to understand when he'd still considered it largely none of his business.
But the other thing he'd felt, keen and blade-sharp, was - ]
The point is that you deserve better from her. She can take all the time she needs. You don't have to stand there holding her hand while she throws stones at you.
[ His gaze is, by now, fierce. He won't have Alicent fire shame-tipped arrows into this man from inside the house when he knows how hard he's had to work to purge as much of it from his system as he already has. Enough to stand here now, hand still in Stephen's, speaking candidly with him. ]
It won't do either of you any good.
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[Which is sweet, a little funny, maybe a little embarrassing. ] I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt until she's stopped earning it.
[Which, with Alicent, is ... It could be soon. It could be today, if chooses to stay angry. ]
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You stayed with me for years.
[ It's half wry. Half a joke. It isn't really a joke at all. Part of him will always think Jim Hopper has the patience of a particularly masochistic saint.
A squeeze of the hand still in his marks Stephen's readiness to disengage. ]
Sorry for bursting in. I'll let you get back to your day.
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[Often; sometimes mercilessly. Jim’s reluctant to let go now, too. ] But not now. You can burst in any time. The doors always open.
[And then, quieter: ] Preferably you do it without pissing off Billy, too. He’s currently trying to give me a migraine.
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Sorry.
[ And then, actually, still not completely aware of what he'd done as he exited that particular conversation, sounding a little bemused that he's having this one - ]
He told me to eat shit and go fuck myself. [ Teenagers do that, no? Despite his fury in the moment, with hindsight the whole thing had been petty enough. ] What did he come tattling to you for?
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[Lol, lmao even. ] And in general. I give it five minutes, he’ll tell me to do the same.
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With my deepest sympathies, Jim, if it's my existence he finds upsetting, look forward to more migraines.
[ But no. The kid caught him on the back of a extremely bad mood, with their previous conversation having taken place during a month where Stephen wasn't exactly himself. He should've been an adult about it, and he wasn't. So. ]
I'll do my best not to actively earn you any.