About WHAT? ( eddie growls, still not awake enough to be manhandled out of his own bed like a runaway bride. except there's no one else in the bed with him, no one he's slipped out on hopper with since they'd had their little moment the night before.
eddie had promised to be normal about this so he's not really putting two and two together about why he's suddenly swaddled, lifted out of bed with strength he figured hopper didn't have with the state of his back. there's a moment, a long moment, where all his brain fills with is radio static because being hauled out of his bed with that brute of force does something to his dick. that's what keeps him still, actually, and is his downfall. )
Hop. We talked yesterday. ( it hadn't been eddie's proudest moment but it had felt final, even with the cloudy memory. when hopper doesn't let him down he sighs, still squirming. ) At least let me put on some underwear!
Yeah, see, I thought we did too. [He's ignoring the underwear comment, thanks. He's on a mission; he will see this through. He's also not elaborating, too busy wrangling the front door open and then out in the brisker cold, straight down the path back to the cart.
He considers the backseat for a long moment,, ignoring House in the front seat. He thinks better of it, absolutely certain Eddie will try to make a run for it if he offers him even a slither of freedom. Not Today. The passenger seat it is, Eddie swung around into a bridal carry as Jim climbs back in, and offers to House, without a second of preamble: ] Drive.
[ While waiting, House has been entertaining himself by singing and drumming on the dashboard along to the Rolling Stones classic 'Satisfaction', or at least as much as he can remember of it, watching the handful of folks around in the chill and fog-shrouded morning, and wagering with himself over what Hopper's doing inside.
He's settled on Hopper retrieving some kind of shameful piece of sex furniture by the time the man in question reappears with -- well, he wasn't that far off. House regards the pair of them with raised eyebrows, but he knows a demand for a quick getaway when he hears it. ]
I don't know, Indy, I've got a bad feeling about this! [ His Short Round impression is terrible and borderline offensive, but as Eddie is bundled in -- all angles and elbows -- he gets the engine going and peels out in a sharp turn, hopefully not spilling his passengers out onto the cobbles. Then it's a matter of foot to the floor and the cart leaps out, magical-gas motor whining as it speeds off down the street towards the gate. ]
( eddie's trying to wiggle his way out when he spots the goddamn golf cart and house sitting in it. he narrows his eyes, tries to get out of jim's arms again but he's pretty much a caterpillar in a cacoon right now or stuck in a chinese finger trap, the blankets keep getting tighter.
which is great for his dignity and not so great for his survival. it shouldn't be so hot that he's being manhandled like this, he really thinks there's something wrong with him as he's settled into jim's lap. he glances over his shoulder. jim got a glare first thing and house gets a grin because he's not on eddie's shit list at all right now, far from it despite being an accomplice here. the confusion and delight tells him this was at least somewhat of a surprise for the guy. ) Fancy seeing you here, doc.
( he's settled for a moment as the cart takes off and then remembers what the fuck is happening, squirms again and when they go over a bump ends up legs hanging out of the gold cart and his head in house's lap, ass squirming in jim's through layers of blankets. he winces, knows he's landed on houses' bad thigh. ) Sorry.
( then he cranes his neck, looks up at jim. ) Yeah, Hopper. Share with the class. Why am I being dragged off like I'm some runaway bride who made an exit on the wedding night?
No, it's a - [Yes, it's a kidnapping. Eddie gets a little irritated glance as he's toppled over, head on House's lap. Like it's his fault, and not the doing of gravity. ] It's an education.
[Of sorts. Jim's not exactly running on rational thinking here, is he? A rational man doesn't hitch a ride into town and throw someone over their shoulder. If he calls it what it is, though, he'll have to face. What it is. He's very tired, and very hungover, and still very cross with Eddie Munson.
To Eddie, before he makes an attempt to haul him back up by the scruff:] You know exactly what this is about. [Look, he's even giving House the same little irritated glance, just so he gets it. ]
[ Eddie landing in his lap earns a wince, but at least his head landed on his thigh and not the boys. He's not sure if he could drive the cart with a hangover and crushed beans.
House ignores the look he's getting from Jim, keeping his attention on steering the cart through the town's narrow streets and out of the gate. They just about manage to avoid colliding with the guards, though it's a near thing -- one of them leaps back with a shout, but they're already heading down the track towards the forest. ]
Wow, I can't believe I'm an accomplice to an education.
( eddie's kind of impressed they haven't crashed into anything, also wondering what this looks like to the townspeople who are out and about at this hour. it probably looks like the insanity it is or just another saturday morning, praise the duchess or whatever.
the lack of pavment beyond the gates does nothing to stop him from squirming, even as he's scruffed and pulled back up. he reaches one hand out of his little blanket cocoon and grabs on to jim's coat for leverage before realizing he has to lean into him to not fall back down. he's left with his head on jim's shoulder, house at his back.
eyes narrowed, he licks his lips. ) Are you mad about an orgy?
I'm not mad about anything, Eddie. [He is very mad, actually. His tone though? Ice cold, pure calm. He holds Eddie very sweetly too; places a hand on the back of his head, cradles him tightly to his chest.
He gives House another glance, this one more an apology for what he is About To Witness. ] I'm just disappointed in you. That's all. [Ouch.]
[ Like any good audience to a soap opera or Jerry Springer special, House is ready to play along. He gives the adequate ooooooh of scandalised delight. Despite being both the cause of and solution to this entire situation, he's definitely enjoying this deeply embarassing little peek into the private lives of Hopper and Eddie.
The golf cart hums along, snapping branches under its wheels and scaring the life out of winter fattened squirrels as they start across the path. ]
I dunno, you still sound kind of mad, Hopper. [ He's not above contributing helpfully to this argument. ]
( if he could, eddie would smack house on the side for that one because it's not helping. he does snort though, beside himself, because the getaway cart driver is right and it would be goddamn hilarious if he weren't the one getting this talk in a decked out golf cart, speeding through the forest.
calm tone or not, hopper radiates anger and eddie's not exactly in the mood to soothe it with soft hands and a soft 'sorry, daddy' on his lips. he's actually pretty pissed about it, honestly. the halls of moria were quiet and now the balrog's rumbling up from the deep. )
No.( he hisses, tries to elbow hopper in the chest while he's at it. ) You passed on that already! We agreed I was fucking off! You don't get to be disappointed in anything, you asshole.
We're not discussing this in a goddamn golf cart. [Not all of it, anyway. He's got some principles left, okay! And some things you just don't talk about in a golf cart!
He shoots House a withering look; a real pathetic can you believe what I have to deal with kind of look. ] Can you go a little faster, he's starting to squirm.
[And sure, Jim's holding Eddie real tight, weighing down the worse of his wriggling and fighting, and his elbowing - but Hopper's got less meat on him, and those elbows are hitting bone, muscle. It hurts. ] Can you - stop, for Christ sake Eddie. Stay still.
[ Now he's been told to do it, House definitely isn't moving any faster. In fact, he slows down a little, just so he can watch the show. ]
You two argue like a married couple. Which is to say, boring. At least give me some details here. And breakfast, I'm pretty sure I asked for breakfast. You'd better not be sitting on it, Hop. [ He glances sideways at Hopper. ] Want me to reach into your pocket?
( eddie actually listens, by the grace of some diety he doesn't really worship. it's partially because the man asked and squirming isn't doing any of eddie's scars any favors, partially because he realizes that that's how he topples out and as much as he wants to get away from this shit show he doesn't want to end up bloodied on the road and then in the duchesses grasp.
he goes very still and tenses up when house calls them a married couple, rigid against hopper's chest. ) Jesus.
Jim-Dear here is mad about the orgy. ( maybe. that had hit a soft spot, apparently. eddie's more awake now then when he was dragged out of his warm bed, into the cold and into a golf card with house. the gears turn slowly; no one ever called eddie munson smart and he's an idiot when it comes to himself, honestly. BUT eventually, he glances over his shoulder at the getaway driver and back at hopper. ) Are you jealous?
No, [he says, like a liar. Then he pointedly nods to House, adds: ] There’s bread and something that looked like cheese in a napkin. Just reach in.
[To his pocket. To Eddie, he says, flatly:] I’m disappointed because I thought we were pretty clear about your pursuits.
[Did he not say old men shouldn’t be on your radar? Ahem. ] And you should know better, doc. What about this idiot here screams capable of making sound decisions?
[ With food on the line, House for once does as directed. He shoves his hand in the vague direction of Jim's jacket pocket without looking around, shamelessly feeling around between Jim's warm body and Eddie's bare ass until he produces a slightly squashed chunk of bread. ]
You didn't seem too unhappy with his decision making qualities last night. [ He points that out around a mouthful of bread. ] But I wasn't aware he was spoken for.
We were clear that I wasn't going to pursue you. ( which is probably a weird agreement to seal with a blowjob that made him feel like he was floating, but who was in their right mind the night before.
they do sound like a bickering married couple, actually. it's annoying that house is right. eddie thinks it as a hand needlessly brushes up against his ass within the folds of the blanket he's wrapped in.
[He opens his mouth to try for calm; for reasonable. Instead, he snaps: ] Eddie.
[A warning. He's not even sure why; why he's jealous, like he's 18 all over again watching Joyce get with Lonnie Byers while Jim shipped off to Vietnam. It's stupid. He's - ] I'm too goddamn old for this. [It's under his breath. ]
[ It's making House's entire day, is what it is. He's not even mad that he's out here driving an open air golf cart through a freezing forest rather than snuggled up in bed with two hotties. ]
Oh, you two! [ He rolls his eyes, comedically exasperated, and grins. ] The key to a successful marriage is compromise. You just have to learn to compromise about how much dick is allowed down Eddie's throat -- hang on!
[ They've reached the turn for Hopper's cabin; House swings the golf cart around to the right, crunching over dead branches and frosted earth. ]
We’re divorced, so I wasn’t stepping out. ( if house isn’t going to give up the marriage bit, eddie is going to play into it. ) The goodbye blowjob was the compromise.
So I can blow, fuck, or trade spit with who ever I want. I don’t have a husband or a Daddy. ( then again, he’d probably do the same thing even if he did. his own personal moral code doesn’t preclude it and eddie’s always been terrible with rules he thinks are stupid or arbitrary.
he lets a huff out at being talked over, feels like a some young bride or little kid overshadowed by the men talking, is focused on that so he doesn’t hold on or brace well at all and ends up leaning back into houses’s chest with his ass in hopper’s lap when the cart finally comes to a stop. he grins in at house, like a mischievous little puppy, as soon as the idea flashes through his mind.
he can make out with who he wants. ) Hey, I didn’t get to say hello properly earlier.
( he means in for that quick, cheeky little display of a good morning kiss. )
[He's mortified. He's going to combust on the spot. He's in a cold sweat, he's going to lose his goddamn mind. He doesn't even really think about it; he sort of just reaches out to haul Eddie by the blanket, hand grasping the back of his neck in the closest thing to a scruff he can manage. He hauls him back, and then out of the cart. He hauls him straight up to the cabin, pauses, says: ]
I got some kind of tea on the stove and some meat if you're still hungry. [To House.
To Eddie, he says: ] Now is not the goddamn time to test my patience, Eddie. Get inside.
[ The kiss might be quick, but House is prepared to go for it. He leans in for as long as he's got, parting with a big hearty snack of his lips, showing off for Hopper. Who provides exactly the kind of response he'd expected -- though House is surprised to get an invite inside, when he'd been expecting to be told to fuck kindly off.
While they get themselves together, House kills the cart's engine and climbs out, fetching his cane from a handy clip on the side intended for golf clubs. He makes his way towards the cabin in Hopper and Eddie's wake. He's not particularly hungry but he's also not going to turn down free food when it's offered, not to mention a chance to meddle further in this unfolding drama. ]
Home sweet shack! [ He follows the two of them inside, still talking. ] If you want your child bride's pretty toes to stay on, Hopper, you're going to need to find him some clothes. Not to mention other equally pretty body parts.
( the kiss is nice, though dramatic. not like the kisses from the night before which were a little more desperate on eddie's end, a little more sultry after some alcohol and whatever else was in the food. he likes kissing house, actually, has kissed him more times than he's kissed hopper. actually, now that he's thinking about it, he kissed house first.
eddie groans as he's scruffed, pulled by the back of his neck. it shouldn't do things to him, shouldn't do things to him in front of house, but eddie knows the audience pings a part of his brain that gets hot for it. he groans. ) Just admit you're jealous!
( he would make a run for it, he would, but his feet are freezing on the near-frozen ground and he wants to get inside. probably to the surprise of everyone in the small shack, he doesn't try to twist away from hopper when inside. ) Clothes would be great, yeah, or leave me by the fire to defrost a bit after I take a leak.
I won't run. ( but he wants to actually take a leak and also brush his teeth; hopper dragged him out of bed and he hasn't done either, still has last night's festivities on his tongue. )
[He nods, vaguely left. ] Bathrooms down there, next to the guest room. Go further back after that and take whatever you want from my clothes.
[Some of it won’t fit, but there’s something close to socks, shirts, layers. While he’s gone, he lights the inside fire, shoves a pot of water over the hearth and sits his ass down at one of the little stools he’s been using mostly outside. There’s a bigger chair close to the fire, for House, seemingly stripped down to be re-upholstered.
When it’s just the two of them, he sighs, says, defeated:] I’m losing my mind. Gotta be. Pass me some of that cheese.
[ House helps himself to the better chair, used to making his way around the little cabin by now, and sets his cane down on the floor. If there's something nearby -- hearthstone, crate -- he'll put his feet up on it. He investigates the remnants of his breakfast sandwich, takes out a chunk of cheese and tosses it in Hopper's direction. ]
Exactly. I’m going insane. It’s the only explanation.
[He sounds utterly resigned to the fact. Chews the cheese like he’s already accepted his fate. ] I wasn’t - [He starts, but it’s a lie. House knows it’s a lie. Jim knows it’s a lie. Eddie, wherever he is in the cabin, knows it’s a filthy lie.
He wets his lips. Starts again. ] I don’t know why I’m jealous. [He’s lowered his voice a touch. ] I don’t know why I can’t let whatever the hell this is go?
[He’s not sure he wants advice; not sure he should even ask. Still, he continues: ] I thought - he and Billy, they’re my responsibility because I’m the only other person they have from home. I should be looking out for them. Keeping them out of trouble. I shouldn’t be letting them - act. This way. I sure as hell shouldn’t be instigating it, they’re just kids.
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eddie had promised to be normal about this so he's not really putting two and two together about why he's suddenly swaddled, lifted out of bed with strength he figured hopper didn't have with the state of his back. there's a moment, a long moment, where all his brain fills with is radio static because being hauled out of his bed with that brute of force does something to his dick. that's what keeps him still, actually, and is his downfall. )
Hop. We talked yesterday. ( it hadn't been eddie's proudest moment but it had felt final, even with the cloudy memory. when hopper doesn't let him down he sighs, still squirming. ) At least let me put on some underwear!
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He considers the backseat for a long moment,, ignoring House in the front seat. He thinks better of it, absolutely certain Eddie will try to make a run for it if he offers him even a slither of freedom. Not Today. The passenger seat it is, Eddie swung around into a bridal carry as Jim climbs back in, and offers to House, without a second of preamble: ] Drive.
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He's settled on Hopper retrieving some kind of shameful piece of sex furniture by the time the man in question reappears with -- well, he wasn't that far off. House regards the pair of them with raised eyebrows, but he knows a demand for a quick getaway when he hears it. ]
I don't know, Indy, I've got a bad feeling about this! [ His Short Round impression is terrible and borderline offensive, but as Eddie is bundled in -- all angles and elbows -- he gets the engine going and peels out in a sharp turn, hopefully not spilling his passengers out onto the cobbles. Then it's a matter of foot to the floor and the cart leaps out, magical-gas motor whining as it speeds off down the street towards the gate. ]
Hopper, is this a kidnapping?
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which is great for his dignity and not so great for his survival. it shouldn't be so hot that he's being manhandled like this, he really thinks there's something wrong with him as he's settled into jim's lap. he glances over his shoulder. jim got a glare first thing and house gets a grin because he's not on eddie's shit list at all right now, far from it despite being an accomplice here. the confusion and delight tells him this was at least somewhat of a surprise for the guy. ) Fancy seeing you here, doc.
( he's settled for a moment as the cart takes off and then remembers what the fuck is happening, squirms again and when they go over a bump ends up legs hanging out of the gold cart and his head in house's lap, ass squirming in jim's through layers of blankets. he winces, knows he's landed on houses' bad thigh. ) Sorry.
( then he cranes his neck, looks up at jim. ) Yeah, Hopper. Share with the class. Why am I being dragged off like I'm some runaway bride who made an exit on the wedding night?
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[Of sorts. Jim's not exactly running on rational thinking here, is he? A rational man doesn't hitch a ride into town and throw someone over their shoulder. If he calls it what it is, though, he'll have to face. What it is. He's very tired, and very hungover, and still very cross with Eddie Munson.
To Eddie, before he makes an attempt to haul him back up by the scruff:] You know exactly what this is about. [Look, he's even giving House the same little irritated glance, just so he gets it. ]
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House ignores the look he's getting from Jim, keeping his attention on steering the cart through the town's narrow streets and out of the gate. They just about manage to avoid colliding with the guards, though it's a near thing -- one of them leaps back with a shout, but they're already heading down the track towards the forest. ]
Wow, I can't believe I'm an accomplice to an education.
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the lack of pavment beyond the gates does nothing to stop him from squirming, even as he's scruffed and pulled back up. he reaches one hand out of his little blanket cocoon and grabs on to jim's coat for leverage before realizing he has to lean into him to not fall back down. he's left with his head on jim's shoulder, house at his back.
eyes narrowed, he licks his lips. ) Are you mad about an orgy?
( is that what this is about? )
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He gives House another glance, this one more an apology for what he is About To Witness. ] I'm just disappointed in you. That's all. [Ouch.]
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The golf cart hums along, snapping branches under its wheels and scaring the life out of winter fattened squirrels as they start across the path. ]
I dunno, you still sound kind of mad, Hopper. [ He's not above contributing helpfully to this argument. ]
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calm tone or not, hopper radiates anger and eddie's not exactly in the mood to soothe it with soft hands and a soft 'sorry, daddy' on his lips. he's actually pretty pissed about it, honestly. the halls of moria were quiet and now the balrog's rumbling up from the deep. )
No. ( he hisses, tries to elbow hopper in the chest while he's at it. ) You passed on that already! We agreed I was fucking off! You don't get to be disappointed in anything, you asshole.
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He shoots House a withering look; a real pathetic can you believe what I have to deal with kind of look. ] Can you go a little faster, he's starting to squirm.
[And sure, Jim's holding Eddie real tight, weighing down the worse of his wriggling and fighting, and his elbowing - but Hopper's got less meat on him, and those elbows are hitting bone, muscle. It hurts. ] Can you - stop, for Christ sake Eddie. Stay still.
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You two argue like a married couple. Which is to say, boring. At least give me some details here. And breakfast, I'm pretty sure I asked for breakfast. You'd better not be sitting on it, Hop. [ He glances sideways at Hopper. ] Want me to reach into your pocket?
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he goes very still and tenses up when house calls them a married couple, rigid against hopper's chest. ) Jesus.
Jim-Dear here is mad about the orgy. ( maybe. that had hit a soft spot, apparently. eddie's more awake now then when he was dragged out of his warm bed, into the cold and into a golf card with house. the gears turn slowly; no one ever called eddie munson smart and he's an idiot when it comes to himself, honestly. BUT eventually, he glances over his shoulder at the getaway driver and back at hopper. ) Are you jealous?
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[To his pocket. To Eddie, he says, flatly:] I’m disappointed because I thought we were pretty clear about your pursuits.
[Did he not say old men shouldn’t be on your radar? Ahem. ] And you should know better, doc. What about this idiot here screams capable of making sound decisions?
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You didn't seem too unhappy with his decision making qualities last night. [ He points that out around a mouthful of bread. ] But I wasn't aware he was spoken for.
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they do sound like a bickering married couple, actually. it's annoying that house is right. eddie thinks it as a hand needlessly brushes up against his ass within the folds of the blanket he's wrapped in.
he shoots back at house-- ) I'm not spoken for.
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[A warning. He's not even sure why; why he's jealous, like he's 18 all over again watching Joyce get with Lonnie Byers while Jim shipped off to Vietnam. It's stupid. He's - ] I'm too goddamn old for this. [It's under his breath. ]
It's complicated.
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Oh, you two! [ He rolls his eyes, comedically exasperated, and grins. ] The key to a successful marriage is compromise. You just have to learn to compromise about how much dick is allowed down Eddie's throat -- hang on!
[ They've reached the turn for Hopper's cabin; House swings the golf cart around to the right, crunching over dead branches and frosted earth. ]
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So I can blow, fuck, or trade spit with who ever I want. I don’t have a husband or a Daddy. ( then again, he’d probably do the same thing even if he did. his own personal moral code doesn’t preclude it and eddie’s always been terrible with rules he thinks are stupid or arbitrary.
he lets a huff out at being talked over, feels like a some young bride or little kid overshadowed by the men talking, is focused on that so he doesn’t hold on or brace well at all and ends up leaning back into houses’s chest with his ass in hopper’s lap when the cart finally comes to a stop. he grins in at house, like a mischievous little puppy, as soon as the idea flashes through his mind.
he can make out with who he wants. ) Hey, I didn’t get to say hello properly earlier.
( he means in for that quick, cheeky little display of a good morning kiss. )
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I got some kind of tea on the stove and some meat if you're still hungry. [To House.
To Eddie, he says: ] Now is not the goddamn time to test my patience, Eddie. Get inside.
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While they get themselves together, House kills the cart's engine and climbs out, fetching his cane from a handy clip on the side intended for golf clubs. He makes his way towards the cabin in Hopper and Eddie's wake. He's not particularly hungry but he's also not going to turn down free food when it's offered, not to mention a chance to meddle further in this unfolding drama. ]
Home sweet shack! [ He follows the two of them inside, still talking. ] If you want your child bride's pretty toes to stay on, Hopper, you're going to need to find him some clothes. Not to mention other equally pretty body parts.
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eddie groans as he's scruffed, pulled by the back of his neck. it shouldn't do things to him, shouldn't do things to him in front of house, but eddie knows the audience pings a part of his brain that gets hot for it. he groans. ) Just admit you're jealous!
( he would make a run for it, he would, but his feet are freezing on the near-frozen ground and he wants to get inside. probably to the surprise of everyone in the small shack, he doesn't try to twist away from hopper when inside. ) Clothes would be great, yeah, or leave me by the fire to defrost a bit after I take a leak.
I won't run. ( but he wants to actually take a leak and also brush his teeth; hopper dragged him out of bed and he hasn't done either, still has last night's festivities on his tongue. )
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[Some of it won’t fit, but there’s something close to socks, shirts, layers. While he’s gone, he lights the inside fire, shoves a pot of water over the hearth and sits his ass down at one of the little stools he’s been using mostly outside. There’s a bigger chair close to the fire, for House, seemingly stripped down to be re-upholstered.
When it’s just the two of them, he sighs, says, defeated:] I’m losing my mind. Gotta be. Pass me some of that cheese.
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[ House helps himself to the better chair, used to making his way around the little cabin by now, and sets his cane down on the floor. If there's something nearby -- hearthstone, crate -- he'll put his feet up on it. He investigates the remnants of his breakfast sandwich, takes out a chunk of cheese and tosses it in Hopper's direction. ]
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[He sounds utterly resigned to the fact. Chews the cheese like he’s already accepted his fate. ] I wasn’t - [He starts, but it’s a lie. House knows it’s a lie. Jim knows it’s a lie. Eddie, wherever he is in the cabin, knows it’s a filthy lie.
He wets his lips. Starts again. ] I don’t know why I’m jealous. [He’s lowered his voice a touch. ] I don’t know why I can’t let whatever the hell this is go?
[He’s not sure he wants advice; not sure he should even ask. Still, he continues: ] I thought - he and Billy, they’re my responsibility because I’m the only other person they have from home. I should be looking out for them. Keeping them out of trouble. I shouldn’t be letting them - act. This way. I sure as hell shouldn’t be instigating it, they’re just kids.
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cw: ref to additudes toward homosexuality in the 80s
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